Questions lead to engagement. Commands shut down creativity. The best leaders ask before they direct.
People are far more open to the idea of change when they are not being told to change. The moment you issue a directive, you've created resistance. The moment you ask a question, you've created engagement.
Seek first to understand, and then to be understood. This is not a soft principle. It is a precision tool.
Jason never raised his voice. He never told me what to do about my shoes. He asked me questions until I talked myself into the corner.
"So you feel that because other people are doing the wrong thing... you should be able to do the wrong thing too?"
Fuck. 2-0 and finished. That was not manipulation. That was precision questioning. He understood my position better than I did because he asked. Then he reflected it back in a way I couldn't argue with.
Active listening turned into something close to a psychic power. Instead of hearing what people said, I was able to see into their minds and understand what was driving it. I was good at telling — not asking. Making the switch was one of the most important things I ever did.
The quality of your questions determines the quality of your understanding. And the quality of your understanding determines the quality of your decisions.